When you start a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in your partner’s interests, wants, and needs. You want to make yourself readily available to them to show your interest, care, respect, and love for them.
In most relationships, even healthy ones, people can sometimes lose sight of themselves, their own goals, wants, and needs.
This doesn’t always mean that you’re in an unhealthy relationship, it just means that you need to start prioritizing yourself again. It’s not selfish, it’s a necessity.
Here’s how to show up for yourself in a relationship.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries may seem like a harsh ask, especially with someone you’re in a relationship with, but boundaries are actually a good thing! Boundaries are what help further define your relationship, make sure you and your partner are on the same page, and ensure that you’re both respecting yourselves as well as one another. These are just a few of the examples of boundaries that you can set within your relationship:
- Time
- Financial
- Sexual
- Physical
- Emotional
- Spiritual
Your boundaries may look different from your partner’s, and that’s completely okay and normal as well. You may want time for yourself after a long day of work. Maybe you dedicate some time to self-care, appointments, or shopping on your own. You may even want to implement a boundary about showing affection in public places. Your boundaries are what protect your values, beliefs, wants, and needs. Be open, honest, and clear about your boundaries and why you’re setting them.
Be Kind Always
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said something nice to yourself? You probably throw compliments your partner’s way on a regular basis. It’s about time you show yourself the same love, appreciation, and respect. Not every day is going to be rainbows and sunshine. It doesn’t mean that you or your partner aren’t putting in the effort or no longer care about each other. Relationships require time, attention, and work.
Stay Consistent
Find a routine and schedule that works for you. When you first start dating, you may want to spend all of your free time hanging out with your partner. This means that some of your hobbies, interests, friends, or family members may be pushed to the side. Try to find a healthy balance. You can hang out with your partner and still find time to go after your own goals. A healthy relationship means that you and your partner each have your own friends, interests, and careers, but you’re still able to come together at the end of the day and be there for one another.
Communication is Key
If you’re not communicating with your partner about your expectations, wants, or needs, they’re not going to know. You can’t expect your partner to just know everything about you. There’s a good chance that they’re not a psychic. You wouldn’t want to play the guessing game with them, so you shouldn’t be expecting them to do that for you. If you’re wanting or needing something in your relationship or from your partner, you need to communicate that with them. Having these conversations, even some tough ones, can help strengthen the bond you already have with one another.
Next Steps
Even if it’s love at first sight, you and your partner will still need to work to build and strengthen your relationship. Life has a lot of curve balls. There are good days, bad days, and everything in between. You can have your cake and eat it too. It is possible to find a balance between showing up for your partner and still being able to show up for yourself.
If you’re struggling with finding a balance, reach out to us today to set up a consultation for relationship or couples counseling.