Think about when you were a baby or your childhood.
You may have been raised by two loving parents who tended to you when you cried, fed you, and raised you in a loving home.
Or maybe you’re a child of divorce. Your parents each had their own home, so you often bounced around from home to home and had different parenting styles from each parent.
Maybe you blocked out your childhood completely. You may have come from a home where your primary caregiver wasn’t around. Maybe you had to grow up a lot earlier than anticipated. You may have even had to take care of yourself, tend to your own needs, or maybe take care of your siblings.
No matter, if you experienced a positive or a negative upbringing, whatever events took place, caused you to form an attachment style that has carried on with you even through your adulthood.
Let’s learn more about what causes attachment trauma and how to heal from it.
What is Attachment Trauma?
Attachment between a child and their primary caregiver is extremely important, especially in the developmental years. There are four different attachment styles that are based on a primary caregiver’s style and responsiveness.
1. Secure Attachment Style
2. Anxious Attachment Style
3. Avoidant Attachment Style
4. Disorganized Attachment Style
Attachment trauma happens when there is a disconnect in the emotional bond that is formed between a child and their primary caregiver.
The Signs and Symptoms
Attachment trauma can have a negative influence on a child’s brain development, emotional and mental health, and the relationships they hold throughout their lifetime. These are some of the most common signs and symptoms of attachment trauma:
- Anger issues
- Chronic pain
- Control issues
- Mood swings
- Obsessive-compulsive behaviors
Attachment trauma happens when children experience some type of stress in the parent and child bonding process. These are some of the most common causes of attachment trauma:
- Community violence
- Divorce or forced separation
- Domestic violence
- Emotional abuse or neglect
- Family conflict
- Life-threatening illness in the family
- Medical neglect
- Physical abuse or neglect
- Sexual abuse
- Verbal abuse
How to Heal
Healing from any type of trauma takes time. There are things that you can do on your end or changes to make in your current lifestyle that can start you on the right path toward healing.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself means that you’re taking care of your basic human needs. Fuel your body with healthy and well-balanced meals. Aim to get at least eight hours of sleep each night. Set aside at least thirty minutes each day to move your body.
Do the Things that Bring You Joy
Taking care of yourself also means doing the things that bring you joy. For some, this may mean going for a walk outside. Others may find solitude by curling up on the couch with a good book. Sign up for a class you’ve been wanting to try. Plan dinner or drinks with friends. Whatever brings you joy, go after it and find that happiness.
Seek Additional Support
You’re not going to have the answers for everything in life. Attachment trauma and healing are one of those things. Although there are things that you can do on your end to help start the healing process, you may be in need of additional support. Working with a therapist may be exactly what you need to work through your attachment trauma, any signs or symptoms you may be experiencing, and ways to cope and move forward in your life again.
Reach out to us today if you’re interested in setting up a consultation.