Have you ever felt like you’re taking two steps forward but five steps backward? You’re trying to move forward in your life, specifically in your relationships, but you keep repeating the same mistakes repeatedly.
You don’t feel like you’re moving forward at all. At this rate, you feel constantly stuck in the same place.
You feel like you’re playing a board game and keep drawing the same negative cards. MOVE BACK TO START. GO TO JAIL. GO BACK 7 SPACES.
Here’s how to learn from your past and stop repeating the same relationship mistakes.
Review Your Past
No one ever likes looking in the review mirror, but sometimes you have to look toward your past to figure out the areas that went right and the areas that went wrong. Look for the things that worked and didn’t work in the relationships in your past. Are there any connections or patterns? Do you have a specific type that you usually go for? There may be both positive and negative memories. Some may be harder than others to look back on, but both will help you determine the best steps to move forward in your life.
Jumping from one relationship to the next won’t help you avoid repeating the same mistakes. Ensure you’re fully ready to dive in before entering your next relationship. You may think you’re ready to date again, but if you dive in too early, you will end up in the same place you are now. Make sure that you give yourself time to heal from any past relationship. You also want time to sort through those thoughts and emotions. Use this time to figure out what you’re really looking for. When you’re more confident in what you want, you can figure out when you’re talking to someone new if you think it will or won’t work. You can save yourself a lot of time, energy, and heartbreak by figuring out your non-negotiables now.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone has a past, and each person’s past is unique. No two people in this world will have the same exact history. If you’re struggling with repeating the same relationship mistakes, it can be easy to be hard on yourself and hurt your self-esteem over the negative thoughts circulating in your head. Don’t beat yourself up. Try to incorporate some self-care into your daily life to help you channel your energy into what you want instead of what doesn’t work. Take a personal day at work. Book a nail appointment or a massage. Go to a workout class or roll out a yoga mat in the comfort of your own home. Self-care allows you to reconnect with yourself and your wants and needs. Don’t shy away from that.
If you’re feeling like you’re making the same relationship mistakes over and over again, you’re not alone. You’ve seen TV shows and movies covering the same topics. Even your family and friends have experienced this. Just because you’re having a hard time now doesn’t mean it will continue to be like this for the rest of your life. You’re also not expected to try to sort through all of this on your own. Working with a licensed and trained mental health professional may be exactly what you need to try to process your past in order to move forward into your future self. Your future is waiting. Reach out to us today to learn more about relationship counseling and how it can help you.