You’ve gone on plenty of dates, but it never seems to work out in the end.
You scroll through dating apps. Left, left, right, right, right. You swipe, scroll, and like, navigating through different profiles, photos, and quick facts.
Everyone has a type, a preference, and a personal choice when it comes to dating. That’s how you’re able to identify what you like versus what you’re not that fond of.
You’re starting to question if the problem is them or if it’s really the person that’s staring back at you in the mirror.
Do you even know what you want out of a relationship? Here are 4 tips to figure it out.
1. Figure Out What Makes You Happy
If you’re having a hard time figuring out what exactly you’re looking for in a relationship, start with yourself first. You know what they say: You can’t fall in love with someone until you love yourself first. While this may seem like a cheesy or cliche saying, it’s actually pretty true! You need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and meeting your basic needs and wants before you can even think about getting into a relationship and putting your focus on someone else. Do the things that bring you joy. You never know who you may meet that shares similar interests when you’re being unapologetically yourself.
2. Consider Your Past Relationships
Looking back on your past relationships doesn’t mean that you should consider going back to one of your exes. There’s a reason it didn’t work out the first time around. That being said, you can use your past relationships as something to help you determine what you’re looking for as well as what you’re not looking for in your next relationship. Figure out the things that you liked about your exes. Now, think about the things that you didn’t like. Maybe some of the items that you didn’t like are also some of the reasons that you and your ex didn’t work out. Make a list of the pros and cons, and keep it on hand as your new guidelines for any relationships moving forward.
3. Look Towards Your Friends and Family
You can lean on your friends and family for support. You can also lean on them for guidance from the relationships that they’re in. When you grew up, you watched your parents interact with one another. You may be doing the same thing with your friends and their interests, dates, or partners. Observe the people you care about and take notes to apply them to your own life.
4. Be Open and Honest
Once you figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship, make sure that you’re open and honest about that when you start dating again. You don’t want to completely ignore or dismiss your own values, wants, and needs just because you think someone is cute. If they are showing signs that don’t match up with what you’re looking for, it’s better to be clear, open, and honest so that both of you aren’t wasting time. Stick to your boundaries and make sure you’re communicating effectively with any dates.
Next Steps
Before you dive into a new relationship, you should have a general idea of what you’re looking for. If you don’t have an idea of what you’re looking for, there’s a good chance that the relationship won’t work out. You have to go into a new relationship with some idea of what you’re hoping to get out of the relationship. Starting a new relationship may seem scary at first, but if you go in knowing what you want, the dating process can become a little easier.
If you need a little assistance figuring out what you’re looking for, we’re here to help. Reach out to us today to set up a consultation for relationship therapy.