In your day-to-day life, you have certain expectations.

You expect your alarm to wake you up each morning. There is an expectation that your car will have enough gas in the tank and be able to help you commute to work safely, securely, and in a timely manner. You may even have an expectation about some of the upcoming to-dos and action items on your list for the day.

Expectations don’t just stop with your work life. People set expectations in their personal lives and their relationships as well. You may expect your partner to behave in a certain way, to split certain chores, or to communicate with you before doing something.

Expectations aren’t a bad thing. They show that you know what you want, you have boundaries, and that you don’t want to settle. Expectations can help guide a relationship to become healthier and stronger, especially when set realistically.

Here’s how to set realistic expectations in a relationship to reduce conflict.

Be Open and Clear

In any type of healthy relationship, there should be open and clear communication. You wouldn’t want to assume what your partner wants or needs. You can’t expect the same out of them, either. Plus, you know what they say about assuming… The best way to avoid any miscommunication, confusion, or disappointment, especially in tough conversations, is to be honest with your partner. Playing the guessing game may cause added frustrations that don’t need to happen. No matter if you’re complimenting them or talking about something that’s been bothering you, open and clear communication should always be used.

Listen and Don’t Interrupt

Communication is a two-way street. When you’re speaking, you want your partner to give you their full and undivided attention. You should be giving them the same level of respect. When you both are speaking with one another, make sure that you are limiting any distractions. This means turning off the television, putting your phones away, and not interrupting them when they’re trying to speak to you. Let one another each say your peace. You can ask questions if you need clarification on anything or want to make sure you’re understanding clearly.

Find Common Ground

There isn’t a winner or a loser when it comes to relationships. You and your partner are in this together. One of you shouldn’t feel like you got everything you wanted while the other person feels like they’re giving up everything. You have to find balance and meet one another in the middle. Relationships are all about the balance of give and take. You can’t always be the giver or the taker. Make sure you’re trying to find solutions to problems that benefit both of you.

Seek Additional Support

Asking for help isn’t a bad thing. A lot of people think of couples going to therapy as a bad thing or that it means they’re struggling. Going to therapy actually shows how much you care about your partner and your relationship. It shows that you are both willing to put in the work and make your relationship even better than it is now.

Relationships are complicated. If you want to find common ground and make it work with your partner, therapy may be a great solution. Working with a therapist can help provide a safe and common ground for you and your partner. An outside third party will be able to work with both of you to help see one another side’s in a better way.

If you’re interested in individual therapy, couples therapy, or a combination of the two, reach out to us today to set up a consultation.