Family, friends, and even society can play a big influence on your life.
You may have felt a little pressured by your parents to participate in certain activities when you were younger. Society may make you feel like you have to graduate, earn a stable income, get engaged, married, and have children by a certain date. Your loved ones may have even expressed their opinion on your former classmates, friends, and even your exes.
While most advice is unsolicited, no relationship is perfect, and you can learn a few things or two from others. Here are some communication tips for couples that you may actually be interested in hearing!
Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes
Always try to see things from the other side. Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Consider their side, feelings, and thought process. One of the great things about being in a relationship is that you’re able to have the power of two brains working together. You won’t always be right, and your partner won’t always be right. In a relationship, you should never fight to win. One person shouldn’t always feel like they’re giving while the other person is taking. You both can learn from one another and grow individually and as a couple.
Use “I” Statements
Try to own your feelings when you’re speaking with your partner. This will help to make sure that the communication stays open and honest and that no one will feel the need to fall into defense mode. When you say something like “I felt this way when…”, it comes across a lot better than if you were to say a “you” statement. “You make me feel this way…” can make the other person immediately feel like they need to go into defense. Own your own feelings. Communicate how you’re feeling, what you need, and what you want.
Always Listen
Communication is a two-way street. It involves both speaking and listening from you and your partner. Make sure that you’re fully present when your partner is speaking to you. Give them the same level of respect and attention that you’re hoping to receive from them. This may mean limiting any distractions when you’re having conversations. Turn off your television, close your laptop, and stop scrolling on your phone. Look directly at them and lean in to show that you’re fully engaged and present.
Share Your Appreciation
No matter how far along you are in your relationship, you should never stop showing your appreciation for your partner. It’s important that each person in the relationship feels respected, valued, and appreciated. Calling your partner during the day, ending a thoughtful text message, picking up their favorite snack from the store, or surprising them with a present that made you think of them are all actions that can lead to your partner feeling more positive and better about themselves as well as your relationship.
Next Steps
The truth is: No relationship is perfect. There’s no such thing. It’s important to remember that you and your partner are two completely different people. You each have your own careers, personal lives, ideas, beliefs, hobbies, passions, interests, and more. You and your partner won’t agree on anything and everything. And guess what? That’s completely okay and even normal!
No one said communicating is easy. It takes a lot of effort and work. And it’s something that can always be improved upon. Communication is key in order to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship. No matter if you’re looking for extra help communicating in your relationship or if you want to make sure your communication stays healthy, we’re here to help. Reach out to us today to set up a consultation for couples therapy.