Many people look forward to seeing their families and celebrating holidays, but for others, these celebrations can be a profoundly stressful situation. Holidays are demanding. We’re expected to abandon our patterns and routines, put work on hold, and return to places with strong emotional connections to our past. Going home and seeing our extended families and relatives can be wonderful, but just as often, those people and places are tied in with our earliest traumas and most unpleasant memories.

All those complicated emotions, combined with the change in routine, make the holidays a time of stress as well as joy. If that sounds familiar, here are some ways to help you cope.

Know Your Triggers

Chances are if you’re here reading this article, it’s because there’s something about the holidays that you dread. Maybe it’s your relationship with your parents or the thought of having to tell family members about a setback at work or in your marriage. Maybe it’s just being around old friends and family who see you as the person you were twenty years ago.

It’s important to identify your triggers before the holidays. Make a list of situations, people, and places you want to limit your contact with. Think about which things you know you’ll enjoy, and which things you’re worried you won’t.

Set Boundaries, Stick to Them

Once you know what your triggers are, you can set boundaries. Tell people ahead of time if you’re planning on skipping a family party or a work event. Don’t let your stress build-up by waiting until the last minute.

If there are topics or people you want to avoid, be clear about them, and be firm. Some people have difficult family situations where an abuser or bully is still a part of the family circle; get out in front of any potential situation by letting people know what your limits are. Know when you’re going to leave the party; know which traditions you want to avoid. Set those boundaries and do yourself a favor by sticking to them.

Be Mindful of Healthy Habits

Because holidays represent a break in the pattern of our lifestyle and routines, they’re also a dangerous time for people struggling with addiction. It’s easy to “cheat” on your diet, or convince yourself to have “just one” drink when all your friends and family are indulging. For many who struggle with these issues, bad habits have a way of following them home.

Are you worried you’ll relapse while hanging out with old friends? Control how you engage with them. Meet for lunch or breakfast instead of for dinner if you’re worried about drinking too much. Have a car handy, or a ride-share app configured and ready to go on your phone. Be ready to leave if boundaries are violated. It’s important to connect with friends and enjoy time together, while also protecting your mental health.

Create New Traditions

If normal holiday plans have a way of spiraling out of control or stress you out more than you can handle, it might be time to consider creating new ones. Spend the holidays with friends or schedule a trip somewhere new. Put your own needs and safety first. That might feel selfish, or cause others disappointment, but most people will understand. Try to create traditions that reinforce healthy habits and avoid triggering situations.

Schedule Self-Care Check-Ins

Set regular reminders to check in with yourself. As an unspoken rule, check in with yourself every thirty to sixty minutes to see where your comfort level is. Have an escape plan ready if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Knowing there’s an exit often makes things more manageable.

If you’re having trouble managing your stress and coping with your triggers, we can help. Reach out to us to schedule an appointment for help identifying and coping with your holiday triggers in anxiety therapy. Problems are always easier to handle after talking to someone about them