While children are growing up, they look to their caregivers to tend to their basic human needs. They need someone who is able to provide them with the essentials for survival such as food, water, and shelter. This is what’s known as attachment.
However, not all attachment is a healthy form of attachment. There are unhealthy attachments that can occur when a child’s needs aren’t being met. This is known as attachment trauma.
While you couldn’t necessarily choose who your parents or primary caregivers were and how your childhood was, you can control how you decide to move forward, heal, and begin to form healthier relationships for yourself in your adulthood. Here are some healthy ways to heal attachment trauma.
Educate Yourself
The best place to start healing from attachment trauma is to take the time to educate yourself about the different forms of attachment. This is a great place to start so that you can identify and acknowledge your attachment style and better understand it. There are four different forms of attachment styles: secure attachment, anxious attachment, dismissive attachment, and fearful-avoidant attachment. Becoming more self-aware and knowledgeable about the different attachment styles can help you start the process of working through any unhealthy attachments you may have.
Start Journaling
Journaling can be a great technique and coping mechanism to incorporate into your daily routine. It’s a great place to put those anxious or negative thoughts and emotions instead of having to hold them inside of yourself with nowhere to go. You can also journal about different prompts to gain insight into how you feel about certain areas in your life. Journaling can be beneficial at the moment, but it’s also helpful to look back on later when you’re in a better state of mind to learn more about yourself as well as any coping mechanisms that worked or didn’t work for you.
Challenge Your Negative Self-Talk
Trauma, no matter what occurred, often brings on negative feelings like shame. After experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, it can be easy for your mind to create and start to believe certain negative ideas about yourself. Be mindful of how you’re talking to yourself. Becoming more aware of this can help you stop that negative talk in the moment. Over time, you’ll be able to replace those negative thoughts with more positive ones. This can help you improve your self-confidence and self-esteem, as well as your ability to better control and manage your emotions.
Lean On Your Support System
Lean on your support system or the people in your life with whom you have a healthy relationship. This could be another family member, a friend, a romantic partner, or even a neighbor or coworker. This person can show up to support you however you may need it while you work through your various thoughts and emotions. They can even help you identify specific signs of unhealthy attachments you may have in other relationships. Work together on identifying and implementing changes to make your other relationships healthier.
Practice Mindfulness
After a traumatic event, it can be easy to try to dismiss your true thoughts, feelings, and memories that are associated with it. Living through the trauma once is usually enough. No one wants to relive those types of experiences. The only way to truly overcome your trauma is to take the time to process it so that your body and brain can release it. Mindfulness can be a great way to reconnect with your body, stay grounded, and live in the present moment.
Consider Therapy
Working with a therapist can help you explore the different attachment styles and specific symptoms you notice in your personal life. A therapist will also be able to help you set boundaries, cope with any negative feelings, and find ways to improve your communication and relationships. Reach out today to learn more about how therapy can be beneficial for healing attachment trauma.